You know you’re a teacher or parent when …

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You know you're a teacher when...

  1. Even during the holidays you find yourself looking at cardboard tubes and boxes with an eye to what kind of telescope, sword or musical instrument they might make.
  2. You smirk when you see a parent unable to control their child in a public place.
  3. You’re standing in a queue and have the urge to check for nits in the head of the person in front of you.
  4. You try and use the ‘stare’ on members of your family when they don’t do as you want.
  5. Your handbag is full of assorted stationery items.
  6. You have a house that only gets cleaned in the holidays – in between you use scented candles to mask the smells.
  7. You refer to anything prior to September as ‘last year’.
  8. You refuse to abbreviate your text messages – writing them in full and with complete punctuation.
  9. You find yourself asking guests to ‘Come in and sit down quietly’.
  10. You constantly have a blackened finger from rubbing the whiteboard – you only manage to clean it properly during the holidays.
  11. As you leave a restaurant you push all the chairs under the table (or worse – stack them on top).
  12. You are able to hear 30 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child who is out of line.
  13. You have a lot of bruises at the height of child-sized tables.
  14. You can eat a 3 course meal in under 20 minutes.
  15. When you go out with a group of friends you find yourself asking ‘Are we all here?’ or ’Does anyone need the toilet before we go?’
  16. You can manage to go to the toilet only twice a day – at lunchtime and 3.30pm.
  17. You would make Ritalin compulsory and hand sanitizer free for all teachers.
  18. You find deep satisfaction in a pot of newly sharpened pencils or a laminated poster.
  19. You have to resist the urge to slap anyone who says ‘ Must be nice to work from 9 – 3.30pm and have all those holidays’
  20. You immediately understand why a child behaves a certain way 2 minutes after meeting their parents.

 

 

 

 

 

You know you’re a parent when…

 

  1. You wear earplugs to block your partner’s snoring but can hear your child’s slightest shuffle halfway down the landing.
  2. You know at least 3 picture books off by heart
  3. You refer to a trip to the supermarket or a smear test as ‘Me Time.’
  4. You know a silent toddler is VERY suspicious
  5. The only plaster you can find when you cut your finger has Peppa Pig on it.
  6. You can hold a conversation whilst still asleep.
  7. You can’t remember what a hot cup of tea or coffee tastes like any more.
  8. Another adult asks you for something and you reply ‘And what’s the magic word?’
  9. You haven’t been to the toilet on your own for quite a while now – and you can play hide and seek whilst having a wee.
  10. You think waking at 7am is a lie in.
  11. When you pass a building site you find yourself saying ‘Look Diggers! – even when you are alone.
  12. It takes you two days to shave your legs: one leg one day and the other the day after.
  13. You are in a restaurant when a friend spills soup down their front and you are the first to wipe it up with a baby wipe.
  14. You start to really appreciate teachers in the middle of a long school holiday.
  15. You cook a meal and cut it into small pieces for your husband/partner.
  16. You lick your hanky before wiping a face.
  17. You hear a crash and bang in the next room and know exactly what’s happened and which of your children is to blame.
  18. You could make a three course meal from the contents of your handbag or glove compartment.
  19. You turn into your parents, saying things you vowed you never would.
  20. You take out your laptop in a meeting and Spiderman falls out

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